Rules for keeping my phone out of the toilet.

There are three rules for keeping my phone out of the toilet. I only need to use one of them.

1. Stop using the toilet.

2. Stop wearing hoodies.

3. Stop putting my phone in my hoodie pocket when going to the bathroom.

I tried rule number one and only made it for half a day. Number two is out of the question because hoodies are my thing. And I keep forgetting to observe rule three. . . . Luckily, this time my phone fell outside the bowl instead of in after bouncing around the rim.

Big clumsy Fingers

I have big clumsy fingers. They don’t always work well with phone apps.

With the WordPress app, I find myself accidentally hitting things that I wasn’t intending on hitting.

One such thing is the “follow” button that is all too close to the link that takes me to the blog I am trying to get to. I end up “unfollowing” by mistake. Then I have to decide if it will cause more damage to leave the blog unfollowed and hope the blogger doesn’t notice, or re-follow causing a notification to pop up and most certainly making the blog owner wonder what kind of shenanigans I am up to.

I end up liking a lot of my own posts as well. I would never do this intentionally . . . . It just seems vain. But it happens when my bullish fingers go wandering through the china shop of the WordPress app.

The Worpress app has a lag that causes me problems as well. I’ll hit “like” on a particular post, and it takes several seconds for the little star to change colors. I get impatient and hit the “like” again. The little star finally changes color but then immediately back to it’s original color because I hit the like button twice. I have repeated this scenario up to ten times . . . Sending ten notifications to a blogger that I liked their post. . . . . ten times.

Again, I’m sure they are wondering what sort of shenanigans I am up to.

WordPress mobile app makes me want to bite my phone sometimes. 

Is it just me, or is the WordPress mobile app quirky and unruly? I mean I know that my level of tech savvy is slightly lower than that of a large pile of gravel (I could make a typewriter crash in high school typing class long before computers took over the role of my victim), but my level of frustration with this app seems even higher than my normal level of angst.

The mobile app constantly refuses to obey my spacing commands while drafting a post. Sometimes the draft doesn’t even match the published post, making me think I’ve become delusional, or more delusional than normal.

Sometimes when I hit the little “follow” under a bloggers name, it turns to “following” for one second, and then returns to “follow” . . . . I played this game for ten minutes one time before deciding that it just wasn’t in WordPress’s will for me to follow the particular blog.

The typing of posts seems more glitchy than typing texts or any other typing I do in other apps . . . Or maybe my frustration with the WordPress app causes my thumbs to swell?

And as far as WordPress in general, I originally couldn’t figure out how I could end up with more likes than views on a post. I was then told that when posts are read in the Reader, they do not show up on a hit counter . . . . So what in the actual $?@! is a hit counter for? It’s more like a “some of your hits” counter. I don’t have what I would call a mass following, so I value seeing all those views lost to Reader. Is this some way to cheat people who have ads enabled out of money?

And while I’m in rant mode, why doesn’t WordPress send me a free Tshirt that says, “Born to Blog”, or a coffee mug? Why don’t they file my taxes and scoop up the dog poop in my yard? 

WORDPRESS!!!! WHY DON’T YOU STOP WORLD HUNGER, WAR, AND JUSTIN BIEBER ROASTS????!

. . . . Ok, maybe I’m getting a little carried away. That’s why I tend to avoid ranting posts.