Efficient on-the-job napping.

As a tree trimmer who sometimes works long hours, I am always on the lookout for new ways to catch up on a few minutes of sleep during the day. I discovered this method last summer.
It takes at least ten minutes for someone to notice you laying on the ground, followed by another 8 minutes of panic and deciding what they should do, and then at least 15 minutes of waiting for the ambulance to get there while everyone repeatedly yells, “DON’T MOVE HIS NECK!”.
At which point you simply stand up and announce that you were just taking a rest with a log on your head…….. A 33 minute nap.

Ode To My Couch.

I was just nominated by Elle Superstar┬áto write a poem with a lot of rules. It’s going to take me some time to complete that challenge, so in the meantime, here is a poem I wrote as sort of a warm up for the challenge:

Ode to my Couch

I love you, couch
You never mind if I slouch,

Nor seem to fret or much care,
If I sit in my underwear.

Your cracks hide the chips,
That fall from my lips.

Your cushions filter the gas,
That I sometimes must pass.

Like a baby in the womb,
Or a mummy in a tomb,

On you I can lay,
And nap in the day.

I love you couch.