It is a glorious miracle that I can make any letters and numbers appear on the computer screen in the form of a post. I certainly couldn’t tell you how I manage to get them there.
Forget about posting those fancy links that appear as the words of my choosing instead of showing that long “http” type address thing. This capability is above my pay scale apparently.
I have managed to post a few pictures, but predicting their size and location within the post is like throwing Lawn Jarts at dog poop piles blind folded.
WordPress keeps inviting me to join a discussion group called “The Commons” but every time I try, nothing happens. Can they tell if I haven’t showered? Can they smell me through the computer screen?
And there is still a few dozen options in settings that I have no idea what they mean or what I should have them set on, even after I attempted to read the little explanations that are provided. My current method of dealing with these options is to turn it on if the name of the setting sounds like something good to eat, and leave it off if it sounds like a disease.
Luckily, my wife just happened to be pulling in the driveway as I was dragging the computer by the cord out to the place in my yard where I burn things that refuse to work properly for me, and made me take it back inside.
If you are kind enough to attempt explaining one of the items mentioned above, please realize that you are wasting your keyboard typing. You would have much better luck trying to explain these things to a brightly colored Easter egg.
Blogging is a complicated venture, especially for middle aged men who make their living climbing trees with a chainsaw.
Blogger or WordPress? .com or .org? HTML? RSS? Ping?
I did my best to research each option for the five minutes my brain would stay on track, but I’m still not sure if I’ve made the right choices. My research capabilities are lacking. In fact, when I was in school, I once wrote an entire research paper on Japan being the capitol of China. That fact alone makes me question the research that led me to my blogging choices.
I picked WordPress.com. It has 1.7 bazillion settings, widgets, and words made from abbreviations like HTML, which apparently is bloggerese for “writing gibberish.” RSS is something invisible that makes the electrical connections between my blog and your computer connect. I have no idea what a “ping back” is.
I tried to add a “badge” to my blog in order to secure my proud place amongst the rank and file of a blog directory. But after my usual five minutes of hardcore research I was able to conclude that the blog directory had given me an impossible task as a cruel form of rejection . . . . badges are apparently non-existent entities that in no way can be displayed on a blog.
I get post “likes” without my hit counter going up. I’m told this is because people can read my nonsensical ramblings without having to actually visit my site. How will I know if anyone is out there other than the few likes I get every once in a while?
My head hurts. I’m fetching a beer and swearing off computing for the weekend while I contemplate painting any future posts on a cave wall with paint made from my own burnt hair and Woolly Mammoth dung.
‘Til Monday 🙂