The Nerve of some Bloggers (blogging paranoia)

Phone lights up telling me I have a WordPress notification.

(Hopeful wonder)

A new follower! 

(Exuberance)

Blurmuth6650 . . . . What kind of name is that? Just doesn’t sound like someone who would follow a blog like mine. . . . But beggars can’t be choosers.

(Wonder)

So is Blurmuth one of those bloggers with 10,000 followers who is just looking to add to his ginormous follower army? Is this how he got his 10,000 followers? Follow en mass and collect the follow-backs? A purely self-serving following? 

(Annoyance)

Or is Blurmuth a new blogger hoping to scrounge a fourth follower? Too lazy to get out there and blog an earning of followers like the rest of us?

(Arrogance and disgust sprinkled with bits of ego)

I’ll bet Blurmuth didn’t even read a single post!

(Indignant anger)

Hmmmmm. . . The Speakings of Blurmuth . . . An ok blog title but nothing overly impressive. Looks like Blurmuth likes to post about politics and NASCAR. What would make Blurmuth follow a blog like mine? I see he has 347 followers. . . That’s more than me . . . . I’ll bet I deserve 347 followers more than Blurmuth does. I just know Blurmuth is up to some sort of blogging nefariousness.

(Dismissal of the following as not genuine)

I have better things to do than engage with a blogger named Blurmuth who only follows other blogs out of pure Narcissism.

I’ll not even dignify Blurmuth with  the response of a follow-back. I’m going blog surfing elsewhere.

(Changing of blogging gears)

I’ll just browse through Reader and find a more worthwhile blog . . . . Like this one right here . . . Looks like a “Mom Blog”. . . . Mom Blogs can’t resist my excellent family humor. . . . And Wow, this Mom Blogger has 13,900 followers! A mention or acknowledgement from this blog would catapult my blog into the blogosphere!

I’m sure this Mom blog has interesting posts. I’m sure I would really like it if I had time to read one of the posts . . . . But I have other pressing blogging business to attend to. I’ll come back later and confirm that I do in fact like this Mom Blog.

(Click of the mouse)

There! I followed. Time to blog on.

This following better produce some followers of my own. I’ll bet that Mom won’t even check out my blog. She’s probably one of those “I’m too good to respond to the kind gesture of a follow by following back”.

She’ll probably assume I just followed her to serve my own blogging promotion instead of the fact that maybe I actually like the things that she posts . . . . Which I will confirm when I return some day when I have more time and actually read one of the posts.

It’s people like this Mom . . . . And Blurmuth that give bloggers a bad name. . . . . Ohhhhhhhh a Dad Blog! Dad bloggers just love my writing style! Wow, he’s got 5400 followers. . . . 

(Click of the mouse)

I never knew how much pressure having 100 followers would cause me.

Well I am thrilled to have gone over the hundred follower mark! This is truly awesome. Many thanks to Reallifemarti from Inventing Real Live and Ritu from But I Smile Anyway for reblogging my shameless plea for follower number 100.

My one hundredth follower was Elle Superstar from Full Circle. Thank you Elle! and to all those who also helped me blow right past the 100 mark.

But beyond being awesome, I’m now having to consider how this could affect my personal life.

I’ve already decided that I should probably start wearing sunglasses more often to avoid any embarrassing situations stemming from being recognized as a famous blogger in public. I hope the crowds don’t get too out of hand when I’m spotted, or worse yet, violent!

I’ve also been practicing my autograph so that when the inevitable day comes that someone wants it, I can give them a snazzy “autography” looking autograph instead of my plain old signature.

I even have to consider things like how I set my garbage out. You never know when some famous blogger stalker might pick through it to get a Kleenex or Pop Tart wrapper from a famous blogger.

I never really considered the ramifications of having over 100 followers until it happened, but I feel that with a few lifestyle changes, I will be able to adjust. So thank you all again . . . . and please, no pushing and shoving in the autograph line.