I’m Dying.

The Doctor’s office calls me and tells me that the doctor wants me to come in the NEXT day to talk to me about my blood work.

I am immediately positive I am dying. . . . Maybe only a week to live since he wanted to see me the following day. . . . . He just wants to avoid the embarrassment of telling a dead body that they are dying. . . . . That is the only reason a doctor could ever fit you in the next day. . . . .

I show up to the appointment with my affairs in order . . . Conversations already plotted out as to how I would break it to my wife, my kids . . . the cat.

“Your vitamin D is a little low” he says.

If I was younger I would have punched him and spent the night in jail thinking it was worth it.