Parenting Life Hack #74.

in this new age of tech, I often find myself parenting via text. This is fine for most parenting communication, but texts seem to lack the ability to convey passion when arguing with my children with this form of communication.

So now I keep this photo that my daughter took of me in the midst of a fatherly butt chewing in my phone’s gallery to send along with texts such as, “I SAID NO!!!!” or “YOU ARE GROUNDED!!” or “GET HOME NOW!!!”.

Parenting Life Hack #28.

If you stop at the store and need to run in for just a second to grab spaghetti sauce, and you really don’t want to take your three and five year olds into the store, but you are afraid that if you leave them in the car alone that someone will notice them and call the police or child protective services . . . . . Simply give each child a cigarette before you leave them. This tends to shift people’s attention from the fact that you left them alone in the car.