I made my living as a tree trimmer and tower climber for over twenty years. I loved every minute of it. Unfortunately, this career choice has a bad effect on your body over the long term.
I have had three surgeries on my right shoulder, one surgery on left shoulder, and just last week I had surgery on my worn out neck vertebrae.
I don’t mind surgery all that much. I’ve had enough of it over the last five or so years that it doesn’t seem any more inconvenient than mowing the lawn or painting the living room.
In some ways, it might even be better than doing those things. I get to lay on the couch for weeks without anyone bothering me or making me feel guilty about not accomplishing anything.
I also get to engage in legal recreational drug use for a few weeks. The pain pills I was given after this last round of surgery were especially potent. They send me off into a blissful slumber while the penguins and unicorns, that magically appear, sing lullabies to me.
One of the biggest down sides to surgery is the stoppage of the digestive system that occurs from the anesthesia. You are constantly asked, “did you poop yet?”
It was three days after this last surgery that I finally did poop. But in those three days, my bowels must have been something like a car pile up on an icy freeway.
When it did finally decide to move. . . . Oh boy . . . . I have now experienced child birth. For a minute there while I was in labor, I even googled whether or not they perform C-sections on bowel movements that had been piling up for three days.
I have a healthy new respect for mothers.
😂😂😂😂
Oh God you do make me laugh!!!
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I can laugh about it now, but not so much while I was in the delivery . . Err, I mean bathroom.
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I’ve really given birth and it hurts! But I remember after one surgery… the dread I felt at ‘going’… it was a mini delivery
Nearly,but not as a bad as the real thing!!
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Well they say that kidney stones can be as painful as childbirth. I’ve had those before and they do hurt. But I’m thinking if a man wanted to experience childbirth, he should have one of these post-surgery poops while he has a kidney stone . . . That would have to be close!
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Close indeed!!!
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Yikes! Yeah, not a fun process in the least.
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No, but I’m getting used to it 🙂
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a pooping pregnancy…
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Yea indeed!
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Only you could make a post about surgery, and the resulting complications, quite so funny! Glad everything is “moving along now” and I bet your wife is also glad that you now have an idea of what she went through. Best wishes for a quick recovery from the neck surgery!
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That would be a spincter-ectomy in order to widen the uhhh pathway. Wait, is that a thing? Thanks for the laugh! Glad to hear you’re pooping again.
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It was! I’ve been ruined . . . Violated!
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lmao dear god man… I needed that giggle.
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