I’ve never been a huge fan of dancing or watching dancing. Nor am I a fan of watching bachelors and bachelorettes trying to pick a suitable mate. So it is no surprise that I don’t like watching TV shows that are about these things. It would even be fair to say that, for me, being in the room while these shows are on can be quite painful.
Yet, I do like to be with my wife and daughters each evening while they intently watch their shows. I know it’s not what you would call top-notch family time, but at least we are together.
At any rate, over the different shows many seasons, I have developed some things I can do while I’m sitting there enduring them. I will now share them for the benefit of any other husbands who find themselves in the same predicament.
1.The natural choice of time-killing activities is to see how long you can get away with making fun of and impersonating things that happen and are said on the show. This can also include doing dances that involve shaking your booty and making fart noises in front of the TV, blocking everyone’s view.
2.Eat a Kleenex. It’s not very tasty, but does occupy your mind and gives one a sense of accomplishment. Once you’ve mastered the eating of a Kleenex, you can up the ante, and try a bowl of dog food, or a tube of toothpaste.
3.Make the cat attack show watchers with the aid of a laser pointer, which most cats will chase with ferocity.
4.For the night’s that seem more torturous than normal, I will see how many thumb tacks I can stick into my body without making a sound. One night while I was playing this game, my wife actually thought that the tears running down my face were due to her favorite dancer getting a low score. She expressed how touched she was that I was so concerned about the well-being of “her” star.
5.And finally, one of my favorites, on night’s when the wife and girls are more focused on the show than usual, I will very discreetly see how many items of clothing I can remove without anyone noticing. I’ve not yet made it all the way down to only my underwear.
A hint though, for some reason, they will notice your shirt being gone before they notice that you are sitting in your underwear, so if you are shooting for total number of clothing items removed, go for the socks and pants before the shirt.