Phone lights up telling me I have a WordPress notification.
(Hopeful wonder)
A new follower!
(Exuberance)
Blurmuth6650 . . . . What kind of name is that? Just doesn’t sound like someone who would follow a blog like mine. . . . But beggars can’t be choosers.
(Wonder)
So is Blurmuth one of those bloggers with 10,000 followers who is just looking to add to his ginormous follower army? Is this how he got his 10,000 followers? Follow en mass and collect the follow-backs? A purely self-serving following?
(Annoyance)
Or is Blurmuth a new blogger hoping to scrounge a fourth follower? Too lazy to get out there and blog an earning of followers like the rest of us?
(Arrogance and disgust sprinkled with bits of ego)
I’ll bet Blurmuth didn’t even read a single post!
(Indignant anger)
Hmmmmm. . . The Speakings of Blurmuth . . . An ok blog title but nothing overly impressive. Looks like Blurmuth likes to post about politics and NASCAR. What would make Blurmuth follow a blog like mine? I see he has 347 followers. . . That’s more than me . . . . I’ll bet I deserve 347 followers more than Blurmuth does. I just know Blurmuth is up to some sort of blogging nefariousness.
(Dismissal of the following as not genuine)
I have better things to do than engage with a blogger named Blurmuth who only follows other blogs out of pure Narcissism.
I’ll not even dignify Blurmuth with the response of a follow-back. I’m going blog surfing elsewhere.
(Changing of blogging gears)
I’ll just browse through Reader and find a more worthwhile blog . . . . Like this one right here . . . Looks like a “Mom Blog”. . . . Mom Blogs can’t resist my excellent family humor. . . . And Wow, this Mom Blogger has 13,900 followers! A mention or acknowledgement from this blog would catapult my blog into the blogosphere!
I’m sure this Mom blog has interesting posts. I’m sure I would really like it if I had time to read one of the posts . . . . But I have other pressing blogging business to attend to. I’ll come back later and confirm that I do in fact like this Mom Blog.
(Click of the mouse)
There! I followed. Time to blog on.
This following better produce some followers of my own. I’ll bet that Mom won’t even check out my blog. She’s probably one of those “I’m too good to respond to the kind gesture of a follow by following back”.
She’ll probably assume I just followed her to serve my own blogging promotion instead of the fact that maybe I actually like the things that she posts . . . . Which I will confirm when I return some day when I have more time and actually read one of the posts.
It’s people like this Mom . . . . And Blurmuth that give bloggers a bad name. . . . . Ohhhhhhhh a Dad Blog! Dad bloggers just love my writing style! Wow, he’s got 5400 followers. . . .
(Click of the mouse)
Now you have me nervous to like this because it made me laugh fairly hard a few times.
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Hahahaha, I welcome all likers! The post was more about my own blogging shortcomings than anybody else.
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I was actually worried that this post might make people unsure of liking or following my blog. Then I got worried that I might have accidentally made my make-beleve blogger Blurmuth similar in some way to a real blogger, making them think I actually had someone in particular mind. I even debated on deleting it after I posted it.
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It’s all good. It was a great read and I got where you were coming from. If we’re being honest I do the same exact thing I just haven’t admitted it out loud like you.
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So funny, and yet so true!!!
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I like writing about the faults in my thought process and laugh about it 🙂
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Lol!!! 😂😂😂 I’m sure lots of people have the same thoughts… You’re just more verbose than many!!!
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Oh no you did not just call me a verb nose….. You….. You ….Noun Face!
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😅😅😅 I did… indeed… what you gonna do about it, Prefix Teeth??!!
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Hahahahahaha!
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😁😁😁
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I didn’t actually read this. I just clicked the like button and am leaving a comment because I need followers. I’m not narcissistic or anything. I just like followers. Those other guys who just click on everything give us good guys a bad name. Hilarious post!
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We are dad bloggers so we can just follow each other without guilt …. Right? We’re cool?
🙂
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I think they call that the blind leading the blind. But that’s pretty much my dad motto. So, yeah, we’re cool.
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The whole post was an attempt at more followers… And then I’m thinking to myself “you idiot, you just wrote a post to get more followers that will make people afraid to follow you! BRILLIANT. . . . Not”
Lol.
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It was brilliant. Never before have I read a post on how to NOT get followers just so they can get more followers. I’m not sure how many followers this post got you but it was at least 1. I’ve been reading your other stuff (How to grocery shop with kids). It’s even hilariouser!
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“Hilariouser” … That made me laugh!
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Me too!
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I like your blog, and I don’t fit those categories.
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Thank you Ibeth!
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You speak a paranoid truth! I often wonder why people blindly click follow but only actually read a handful faithfully. Oh no, is that me? I hope not….no definitely not. I just bought your book, btw, for my Barnes & Noble nook. Yay!
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Thank you!!!! You are in an elite group of only a dozen or so who are cool enough to have bought my book!
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I’m very glad to have done so as I love your writing. And I always prefer to read on my nook (versus my kindle), so I was very happy to see it available at Barnes & Noble. I know I said that before, but want to reiterate it. I’m looking forward to reading it and will definitely comment on your page.
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Oh and I will also post a link on my blog.
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omg this is sooo true. Except, don’t get a big head here or anything, but I actually do read all your posts. You’re funny and I like to laugh! So, as one of the few bloggers that I actually do read, keep it up! 🙂
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Thank you very much! Maybe I was just fishing to hear that someone actually gets some amusement from my maniacal ramblings . . . You are one of the few!
I’m not sure if that’s good or bad 🙂
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It’s good, at least from my perspective. It means I’m not the only warped, perverse, crazy person out there! *grin
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ok I love the post, but it’s made me slightly paranoid and suspicious of all my fellow bloggers……
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They are all up to no good.
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LMAO I remember my first time blogging, oh, way way back when, and I used to go between the paranoid/excited reaction to every notification I got. (Is that a REAL fan? or someone that’s just lurking… waiting to leave me scary messages? OMG that’s not my mother, is it??? How the hell did she find me here???)
That’s not to say I still don’t do that, my who-knows-how-many-times-around this might be, but I feel a lot more relaxed about the notifications these days. Experience… nah. Age. With every year I add to the tally, I seem to get a lot less excitable about stuff. Go figure.
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I think it Made a better story than reality for me. I used to lurk for follows. I’m so busy lately that blogging is often something I do on my phone while waiting in a doctors office or sitting in the bathroom. I don’t have time to worry about commenters, followers or even my own blog. Besides, I have no problem giving a follow-back 🙂
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New mom blogger here, hoping for a follow-back… I did read your rant if that means anything?! 😂
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I did try to follow back, but it said the blog had been deleted! Hopefully you haven’t given up already 🙂
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Hmm… I deleted an old one I set up just to use reader but the new blog is defiantly still running. Clearly I have no idea what I’m doing here 😂. http://www.twinpickle.com
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When I click on your name it takes me to the screen that says you deleted your account, but the link took me to your site.
And fear not, it has taken me years to get to what I consider a novice at navigating the social media-sphere. . . . I couldn’t even figure out how to follow your site, but I did follow on Facebook.
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I felt like I was you while reading! I’m a new mama blogger and already feel this!
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Lol! this post continues to be one of my most popular. I think everyone can identify with both sides of the “follow” fence 🙂
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Wonder how many people ended up searching for Blurmuth….. pitty the poor soul that by chance picks this name many moons from now. Your post entertained – I shall give you a follow.
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