The Nerve of some Bloggers (blogging paranoia)

Phone lights up telling me I have a WordPress notification.

(Hopeful wonder)

A new follower! 

(Exuberance)

Blurmuth6650 . . . . What kind of name is that? Just doesn’t sound like someone who would follow a blog like mine. . . . But beggars can’t be choosers.

(Wonder)

So is Blurmuth one of those bloggers with 10,000 followers who is just looking to add to his ginormous follower army? Is this how he got his 10,000 followers? Follow en mass and collect the follow-backs? A purely self-serving following? 

(Annoyance)

Or is Blurmuth a new blogger hoping to scrounge a fourth follower? Too lazy to get out there and blog an earning of followers like the rest of us?

(Arrogance and disgust sprinkled with bits of ego)

I’ll bet Blurmuth didn’t even read a single post!

(Indignant anger)

Hmmmmm. . . The Speakings of Blurmuth . . . An ok blog title but nothing overly impressive. Looks like Blurmuth likes to post about politics and NASCAR. What would make Blurmuth follow a blog like mine? I see he has 347 followers. . . That’s more than me . . . . I’ll bet I deserve 347 followers more than Blurmuth does. I just know Blurmuth is up to some sort of blogging nefariousness.

(Dismissal of the following as not genuine)

I have better things to do than engage with a blogger named Blurmuth who only follows other blogs out of pure Narcissism.

I’ll not even dignify Blurmuth with  the response of a follow-back. I’m going blog surfing elsewhere.

(Changing of blogging gears)

I’ll just browse through Reader and find a more worthwhile blog . . . . Like this one right here . . . Looks like a “Mom Blog”. . . . Mom Blogs can’t resist my excellent family humor. . . . And Wow, this Mom Blogger has 13,900 followers! A mention or acknowledgement from this blog would catapult my blog into the blogosphere!

I’m sure this Mom blog has interesting posts. I’m sure I would really like it if I had time to read one of the posts . . . . But I have other pressing blogging business to attend to. I’ll come back later and confirm that I do in fact like this Mom Blog.

(Click of the mouse)

There! I followed. Time to blog on.

This following better produce some followers of my own. I’ll bet that Mom won’t even check out my blog. She’s probably one of those “I’m too good to respond to the kind gesture of a follow by following back”.

She’ll probably assume I just followed her to serve my own blogging promotion instead of the fact that maybe I actually like the things that she posts . . . . Which I will confirm when I return some day when I have more time and actually read one of the posts.

It’s people like this Mom . . . . And Blurmuth that give bloggers a bad name. . . . . Ohhhhhhhh a Dad Blog! Dad bloggers just love my writing style! Wow, he’s got 5400 followers. . . . 

(Click of the mouse)

38 thoughts on “The Nerve of some Bloggers (blogging paranoia)

    • I was actually worried that this post might make people unsure of liking or following my blog. Then I got worried that I might have accidentally made my make-beleve blogger Blurmuth similar in some way to a real blogger, making them think I actually had someone in particular mind. I even debated on deleting it after I posted it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I didn’t actually read this. I just clicked the like button and am leaving a comment because I need followers. I’m not narcissistic or anything. I just like followers. Those other guys who just click on everything give us good guys a bad name. Hilarious post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You speak a paranoid truth! I often wonder why people blindly click follow but only actually read a handful faithfully. Oh no, is that me? I hope not….no definitely not. I just bought your book, btw, for my Barnes & Noble nook. Yay!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. omg this is sooo true. Except, don’t get a big head here or anything, but I actually do read all your posts. You’re funny and I like to laugh! So, as one of the few bloggers that I actually do read, keep it up! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LMAO I remember my first time blogging, oh, way way back when, and I used to go between the paranoid/excited reaction to every notification I got. (Is that a REAL fan? or someone that’s just lurking… waiting to leave me scary messages? OMG that’s not my mother, is it??? How the hell did she find me here???)
    That’s not to say I still don’t do that, my who-knows-how-many-times-around this might be, but I feel a lot more relaxed about the notifications these days. Experience… nah. Age. With every year I add to the tally, I seem to get a lot less excitable about stuff. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think it Made a better story than reality for me. I used to lurk for follows. I’m so busy lately that blogging is often something I do on my phone while waiting in a doctors office or sitting in the bathroom. I don’t have time to worry about commenters, followers or even my own blog. Besides, I have no problem giving a follow-back πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • When I click on your name it takes me to the screen that says you deleted your account, but the link took me to your site.

      And fear not, it has taken me years to get to what I consider a novice at navigating the social media-sphere. . . . I couldn’t even figure out how to follow your site, but I did follow on Facebook.

      Liked by 1 person

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