Learning to interpret the unspoken communication in a marriage is one of the most valuable tools a husband can have in the pursuit of harmony. While all wives have their own versions of this language, here are some examples of my wife’s wordless vocabulary.
Raised eyebrow . . . . I’m not quite sure yet, but I suspect you are about to do or say something that will make me think you are an idiot.
“Huff” . . . You are an idiot.
“Sigh” . . . I disagree, but it’s not worth the time to argue about it.
“Huff, sigh” . . . You are an idiot, but you already know that, so it is not worth my time to say it again.
“Chuckle” . . . I told you that you were an idiot, but you wouldn’t listen.
“Groan” . . . Please don’t try to fix the washing machine with spare car parts for the fourth time this week, let’s just buy a new one.
“Groan, sigh” . . . I wish you wouldn’t try to fix the washing machine with spare car parts, but I know you are going to no matter what I say.
“Huff, groan, sigh, smile” . . . You are an idiot for trying to fix things that are beyond your capabilities, and I can do nothing to stop you when you are on a do-it-yourself mission, but that is partly why I love you.
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