Attention all animals residing in my house.

This is a message from the Natalie warning system:

Natalie (the young girl that also lives here and who treats you all like her children) has recently determined that all of you smell and have greasy fur. Those of you that have been with us for a while know that this means that at some point in the next 24 hours, your flea-bitten carcasses will be snatched up and hauled into the bathtub regardless of any snarling, hissing, teeth gnashing, and claw baring. You will be thoroughly scrubbed with shampoo and then have your fur styled and fumigated with smelly-goody stuff. Some of you who are less fortunate may also be dressed in various little girl and doll clothing after said fur scrubbing.

It is useless to resist.

Do not look to me for help. I will be going to the neighbor’s house when the melee begins, and will not be returning until the baths are over and the hair and blood stain cleanup phase has begun.

You have been warned.