Showering Genius.

Being the intellectual type, I can’t help but try to streamline daily tasks and duties.  Just because something has been done a certain way for long periods of time, doesn’t mean that it can’t be improved upon.

One morning I was standing in the shower when our cat suddenly came flying into the bathroom and through the shower curtain in a panic. Hot on the cat’s tail was our dog Pippi, who also came flying into the bathroom and then through the shower curtain. Once both animals were inside the shower, they proceeded to engage in an extremely vicious claw and fang fight.

Now, the dog chasing the cat was nothing new around our house, but the dog and the cat ending up in the shower with me was a new development.  The brain of an ordinary man would have been preoccupied with the multiple lacerations sustained on his legs and buttocks during the dog and cat scuffle which he had just been in the middle of, but I barely even noticed the pain and blood. Instead, my mental gears began to turn as I stood in the warm flow of water, looking down at Pippi.

I was in the shower . . . . . and Pippi was in the shower . . . . . . We were both already wet, so why not give the dumb dog a bath . . . or shower as it were. I had just taken two separate tasks, showering and dog washing, and combined them into one highly efficient event.

In the days that followed, I couldn’t help but be proud of my combining showering with dog bathing, and I began to think of other things that I could incorporate to make the time wasted in the shower even more productive. With the whole water/washing theme of a being in a shower, the natural progression seemed to be washing clothes.

I figured I could just wear whatever clothes I wanted to wear for the day while I was in the shower. I was sure that the scrubbing of the clothes will also seep through to my body and clean it as well. The only dilemma was whether I should use laundry detergent or body wash, so just to be safe, I settled on using a dash of both.

The combination did indeed seem to result in the cleaning of both myself and my clothes, but the drying of the clothes needed some adjustment. At first, I liked the idea of just showering with the clothes on that I would wear for the day, and then just walking out of the bathroom ready to head off to work. However, I discovered that it takes anywhere from three to six hours for the clothes that you had showered in to dry, which seems to also lead to chafing in “uncomfortable places”, (chafing that my wife delighted in calling “diaper rash”). So now, I shower with the clothes on that I will wear for tomorrow, and then hang them over the shower curtain rod, and put on the clothes that I showered in yesterday to wear for today.

I found that by showering twice a day, I could even help out with some of the rest of the family’s laundry (with the exception of my daughters jeans because I can’t fit into them). But my helpful efforts were not appreciated. In fact, I actually became the subject of anger and ridicule from my wife who happened to walk into the bathroom just as I was stepping out of the shower wearing the dress that she would most likely wear to church that Sunday . . . freshly laundered, might I add.

As time went on, I continued to develop more time saving activities that could be incorporated into my showering and have even come up with a daily showering schedule that looks like this:

Monday:

Morning shower . . . laundry (I’ve now gone to a two to three outfit shower by making one or more wardrobe changes).

Mid-day shower . . . dishes from the previous day.

Tuesday:

Morning shower . . . laundry or wash dog every other week.

Mid-day shower . . . dishes and watering of half the house plants (I can’t fit all the house into the shower at once, but I’m working on a rack system that would accommodate all of them).

Wednesday:

Morning shower . . . laundry and second half of house plants

Mid-day shower . . . dishes.

Evening shower . . . drapes and linen, alternate.

Thursday:

Morning shower . . . laundry and attempt to wash one of the cats . . . if, I’m feeling ambitious.

Mid-day shower . . . dishes.

Evening shower . . . bathroom throw rugs and scour the shower walls.

Friday:

Morning shower . . . catch up on any laundry or dishes.

The system seems to be working well in spite of spending most of my days with pruned fingers. I continue to look for new ways to improve on my showering activities. One idea of mine is to build a shower that you can drive your car into, so you can shower and wash your car at the same time. I would call it the “car wash” . . . well, ok, I know that someone already used that name, so maybe I’d call it the “car shower.”

8 thoughts on “Showering Genius.

  1. O.M.G. LOL I am soooooooo glad I’m not your wife!! Hilarious though! Do you have to dry all the dishes after you’ve showered them, or do you drip all through the house getting them back to the kitchen? Do you dry all the pot plants and their pots before putting them back, or do they live permanently in your shower now? Do you use the same wash cloth that you wash the dog with to wash your dishes? This is too much, you’ve made my brain ache! lol

    Liked by 2 people

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