I’m absent minded, an airhead if you prefer. I’m not stupid. I can think quite logically. But my mind is always going in so many directions that I often forget to remember things that I’m not supposed to forget.

It makes me seem forgetful, but I’m really not. I’m just so preoccupied with stuff like my idea to market underarm deodorant for dogs, that I just never remember to remember things in the first place.

This constant irrelevant brain activity can also distract me in the middle of tasks, and leave me confused as to which step of a process I was on.

For the most part I’ve learned to live with it . . . . Or perhaps those around me have learned to live with it and now compensate for my air-headedness.

For your entertainment, I have thrown together a list of things that can occur in the life of someone afflicted with air-headedness. 

1. I have, on more than one occasion, left the house and discovered at some point thereafter that I was wearing two different shoes. 

The embarrassment level that is the result of such an oversight can vary depending on (a) just how different the two shoes are (two different styles of brown shoes is much better than one white tennis shoe and one black hiking boot) and (b) where I am going with my mismatched shoes on (a trip to the store for bread is much preferable to standing on a stage with my daughter at a high school sports awards ceremony with one leather dress shoe and one corduroy slipper).

2. I never know where my wallet is. 

Yes, I’ve been told by many people that I need to just pick a place and put it there EVERY time I walk in the door. It doesn’t work.

Losing my wallet is so common place that sometimes when we are about to leave the house, my children begin looking for it before I have even declared it was missing. 

I lose it so often that I am afraid to keep things like money, credit cards, and my drivers license in it. I figure losing just a credit card or just my drivers license is better than losing everything that was in the wallet. However, I do feel silly carrying around an empty wallet at times.

3. I am terrible with names. I can remember the names of family members and close friends, but nearly everyone else ends up getting an assigned name that I can use when referring to them. 

Such names include: 

“Natalie’s friend who is always smelling the back of her hand”

“Lady at church who sounds like she is saying cheesus instead of Jesus when singing a solo”

“The guy from work that smells like popcorn”

4. Sometimes I jump in the shower and forget that there is a certain order to the body washing process. Without thinking, I will wash my butt first, leaving me with the choice of getting a second washcloth to wash my face, or finishing the shower without the aid of a washcloth. 

Or in a worst case scenario, I realize my shower order error AS I’m washing my face with the same washcloth that was scrubbing my butt just moments before. . . . in which case I get out of the shower, dry off, dress, select a new washcloth, undress and begin the whole showering process all over again as if the first shower debacle never took place.