Time Management.

When you read the title of this little article, you might have thought, “Oh, some advice on time management. This should be good!”

No.

There is no advice happening here when it comes to time management. There are so many more things that I need and want to do than I can possibly get done in one life time. It makes my head spin.

I work a full time job that sometimes requires overtime. I have a wife who I love and want to take out on “date nights”. I have two girls who I want to spend time with. I have a lawn that needs mowing and a two cars that need fixing. Our house needs cleaning and remodeling. I like writing and blogging. I like cartooning and drawing. I love being outdoors and fishing and laying in hammocks. I am a social person who values time with friends. I put a high value on volunteering my time for things I consider to be worthwhile causes.

“So how on earth do I manage to do all that?” you might ask.

“You must be a master at time management,” you might say.

The answer is simple. I don’t. I don’t do any of it.

My wife and I spend time together on the couch each evening taking turns snoring while the TV lights up the room and makes noise. It’s rare that both of us are still awake by 9:00.

I see my daughters coming and going sometimes. I manage enough effort to hope that they haven’t dropped out of school or started working at a meth lab. Sometimes I reach my arm up to hand them the money that they ask for, and I’m to tired to argue about in my after work coma state . . . . . . I’m pretty sure one of them was humming Cats in the Cradle the other night as they walked past my lifeless body.

My lawn gets mowed when it becomes so overgrown that it is embarrassing to be seen standing on it . . . . or worse yet, no one can even see me standing on it.

My cars will never get fixed.

The house is a monument to clutter. Remodeling is a ridiculous notion. Over the years I have learned that starting a remodeling project means that I will rip up the floor tile, tear out the sink, and apply spackle to spots on the wall . . . . and then abandon the project for two years . . . . . or possibly forever.

The last thing I’ve done that could be considered “volunteer work” was to chase down a piece of paper that had blown out of my neighbors garbage and put it back in the garbage can . . . . . and to be truthful, I only did it because it looked like a check stub and I wanted to know how much money an accountant makes . . . . . now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure I threw it back on the ground when I realized it wasn’t a check stub.

So my answer to trying to manage my time and get my gigantis “to do” list completed is . . . . . do nothing. I sit idle and wallow in self-pity over not possibly having enough time to get it all done, and never end up accomplishing anything, not even the things like fishing and cartooning that I actually enjoy doing. I disgust myself.

What disgusts me even more is you time management Savants. Your houses are perfect. Cars get serviced before they break down. Your houses and lawns look like home magazine covers. You volunteer for the school, the church, and you host scrapbooking clubs at your houses where delicious and visually appealing hors d’oeuvres are served on plates and napkins that match your living room décor. And you still have time left over to golf, have barbecues, and watch Dancing with the Stars.

You sicken me. Even more than I sicken myself.

But I know that I will eventually get fed up with myself and have a burst of energy. I’ll manage to half-ass my way through a few items on the list, sit down with a sigh, a beer, and a warm feeling for having gotten something done, and slowly return to my state of depression over all the things that are still left on the list.

26 thoughts on “Time Management.

  1. As a fellow dad who watches the time fly by, I have a wonderful time saving tip for you: If you wait too long to take down the Christmas tree, you’ll save time having to put it up again (fake trees only).

    <—- tree up for 18 months. Thank-you, thank-you.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I was exhausted by the end of this post….:) I’d like to say this was funny but I’m not sure you want me to think that way. I’d also like to think this was a vent but that you wanted me to view it in a funny way. So maybe I should view it as somewhere in the middle…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh been there, done that, felt the same. My house is a monument to clutter again now I have the time but am too ill to really sort it. You sound pretty normal to me 🙂
    I bet the people with uber time management skills either have someone in to clean and mow or they never relax. Hell, maybe all 3!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know some people who just get it all done… With no help. I don’t understand. I don’t really hate them, I stand in awe. Just like people I know who make the same amount of money as me, but they seem rich….. This may end up as post too!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know people like that too and they are super organised, but I still think there’s something you will have that they dont, in some way. But, yeah, it would be nice to be more organised and so create more time.
        If you’re serious about it Flylady has some good tips and techniques. You dont have to follow the programme, just pick out bits relevent to you.
        I love it when inspiration comes from comment conversation 🙂

        Like

  4. You articulated perfectly how I feel, especially on the weekends when I’m trying to decide weather to do something I enjoy or get something done. I end up doing neither.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is life – at least for some of us. Being a person who likes order I struggle with the “I should do that” and the “I’m too tired/don’t want to/can’t be bothered/It’s my weekend” issue all the time.
    I recommend having a baby – but only for the first day you come home, bubbling with good hormones. I only say this because with my first child I discharged myself, drove us home, cleaned the house, cooked a meal, did the washing, fed the baby, admired the baby – I may have even mowed the lawn and chopped the wood (too far away to remember now) and felt triumphant! However, since then, not so much! 🙂
    MMM on second thoughts perhaps that only works for ladies, and perhaps I was slightly manic.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You are not alone! I have clutter hiding in every corner, and a pile of other jobs that need doing. I can’t seem to find any motivation either. I also envy those that have time to make things match, cook delicious meals for every occasion, and have cars that run perfectly!

    Like

  7. You sound just like my husband and me. Hysterical. If we make it to 10pm it’s astounding. Right now I’m saying that I will do this or that and clean this and that on the weekend. But I’m working on Saturday and then will blog and read. There is always next weekend. That or mania.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s